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Wow, it’s April already. What a mad season it’s been lately.

Those of you who know me personally know about what has transpired lately. For the rest of you I’ll try to encapsulate it.
About a month ago my wife had a bad dizzy spell that got us worried. She couldn’t talk sensibly and had numbness in her right arm. We thought stroke. Turns out it wasn’t, but the MRI showed a mass in the left side of her brain that is about 2-3 cm’s and it’s in the part of the brain that deals with speech. While we were at the hospital ER all night someone stole our bicylcles off our porch.

About one week ago my son had seizures that scared me so bad….you just can’t know the feeling unless you know the feeling. We stayed all night in the Children’s Hospital in downtown Charlotte. All tests came back negative….that’s great, but it doesn’t tell us what happened.
My daughters biological father is taking us to court for custody and making rediculous claims (lies, actually) and just being a nuisance.
I got a new job in March and had to wait a whole month for a $697 paycheck. I came in on the pay period kinda wack and was in training for a week so I couldn’t make much production (I make 20% of what I produce in termite/pest control).

One thing right after another, in rapid fire. This all happened in March, within the time span of about 2 1/2 weeks.

Out of this time God has poured Himself out on us in the most amazing ways. The Body of Christ praying for us, our elders standing in the gap with/for us, you people and your praying….there have been some financial blessings as well that have helped us with medical bills that are approaching us. My mother and father in law are helping us also…in fact they just bought us a brand spankin’ new Craftsman riding mower….with a drink holder!! Woot Woot! Me and the boy gonna be doin’ lotsa ridin’!

I’m in a daze. I don’t know how to process this…so much scary stuff, so much pondering of my beloved one’s mortality and my life without them. So much Grace and Holy Spirit ministry.
David Wilkerson’s newest letter is called “The Healing Power of Afflictions“. How does God do this? What timing! It’s as if Dave was only talking to me. AND, I actually got a word in my inbox from Andrew Strom’s email thingy and it was yet another prophetic statement to me and my household, out of the blue, and it couldn’t be more pinpoint accurate. I normally don’t read much of Strom’s stuff anymore, but felt a certain compulsion to see this one. Can’t remember what it was called….but it was aimed at me and my family.

I used to not care if sick people got healed. I even told God that, more than once. I figured He already knew, I may as well admit it. My primary burdens have been along prophetic lines….and hopefully you all know what I mean when I say prophetic. NOT Elijah List, but I digress.
Seeing human suffering like this, in my own home, shook me. I suddenly see how God’s own heart is inclined toward the sick and have been reminded of how many times Jesus healed out of His compassion. He revealed the Father’s heart on this subject. He is our High Priest who is indeed touched by the feelings of our infirmities. I think He’s looking for a priestly church of the same ilk. So now I’m chasing God to see the restoration of bodies in pain or sickness. Let’s face it: almost half of the stories about Jesus are healings. I don’t want a half gospel anymore. We aren’t better and more spiritual than the early church….they knew that they needed God to back up His word with power and they actually asked Him to do it (Acts 4). So am I.
I would never go for a drive with a full tank, run the car out of gas and then think I could keep on driving just because someone finally gave me a completed manual of my car and how it works.
You still need gas and oil just like you did at the beginning of the trip. If you keep your oil changed and don’t run your car on the bottom of the gas tank it’ll run forever, even if it’s an American made car.
It’s the same with the church. If Paul needed what he had, I need it. If the world Paul preached to needed to see what it saw, then our world needs it more.
And you should know me well enough by now to know that I have no desire to run after all the bizarre stuff out there. Repentance toward God, faith in Christ alone….these are always what preceeds (most of the time in the bible) signs, wonders, miracles, healings….whatever.
But I want to see this again and I intend to….and I believe with all my heart that this is the Lord’s work in me. It’s hard to even write this because I know what many may think or say, but I’m crying ‘uncle’.
I know what’s going on in me and I know the depths of workings that He’s achieving. I even believe that all this was geared up toward this end, to see the need for this one thing to be back in the gospel like it used to be.
I don’t care. If I look like a damn fool going after this, so be it.
We’ll see what happens.

This is the least of what has occured in me, however. Seeing the brevity of life and how quickly it can be snatched away is good medicine for the soul. Look at the first few verses of Ecc. 7. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning. Pondering death is actually good for you, believe it or not. “What have I done til now? Who for? Has it been of eternal value?” Lot’s more questions like this surfaced during this time, which isn’t over yet.

I’ve grown close to Job, Joseph and Daniel lately. It’s amazing how much more you can relate to these men in the word when you go through some of their sufferings with them. Now I know why Paul would say things like, “that I may know the fellowship of His sufferings”, or something to that affect. My eye’s are burning right now…otherwise I’d look up that reference and quote it better, but as it is I’m typing with my eye’s closed. Thank God for that typing class in 9th grade…I got taught the ‘homerow’ method. I can’t believe it still works after all these years. But anyway, there is something given to you from God when you walk through things like this that require so much more grace than just average American Christian existence and it comes no other way than through cross bearing without complaining. I can honestly say I never once compained during this whole time. I’m blown away by that. I pleaded, I wept, but I confessed His goodness, His wisdom and perfection in all He does. I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, but rather to glorify the God who has made it possible for me to say these things out of a deep, gut level conviction that they are true. No platitudes. No Barack Obama campaigning to myself or God….you know, hype with no substance. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

I need to crash. It’s about 11 o’clock here.
Thanks for praying and please continue to do so…and thanks for listeing to my ramble…or, er, reading it. No audio here.

mark jr.

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Filed under Cessasionism, Charismatic Issues, Christian Living, Evangelism, Faith, Preaching, Revival, Spirit Led Living, Unparticular Particularities, church life, salvation

Tags: first century church, full gospel, healing